Fix Your Marriage - Do Not Divorce

Divorce is an ugly reality. No one gets married thinking they will one day get divorced. However, the truth is that no one knows the future. So when you make that promise to be with that person forever, sometimes it's a promise that cannot be kept. However, that doesn't mean you should give up easily. Let's examine a few reasons divorce occurs, and then discuss how they can be avoided or reversed.
One reason many people get divorced is because the feeling of love (or being in love) has faded. The spark is gone. You sleep on the far opposite sides of the bed. The magic has gone away. Well, you can get this back, if you are willing. Try doing special things! Sometimes you have to examine what it is that came between you. Was it another person? Was it a situation, like a job or hobby? Did one of you seem to change?

Another reason people get divorced is because one or both spouses has an affair. The average person would think that this is legitimate reason to end a marriage. However, there can be life after unfaithfulness, so to speak! If you talk about why the person cheated and try to resolve the relationship, it can be stronger afterwards than it was before.

People also get divorced because of more serious issues like physical or emotional abuse. In cases like these, being separated and taking some counseling or anger management can sometimes help. However, there are certain situations where a person's actual safety and well-being are at risk, and divorce is the only way.

If you are considering divorce, pray and consult a close friend or family member that you've loved and trusted for years. Also try contacting your pastor or therapist, or enlist the help of another professional such as a marriage counselor. Do everything you can to prevent an unnecessary divorce. But once you consider your options, don't be afraid to follow through with one if your safety or well-being is irrevocably at stake.

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Let Us Save Your Marriage

Why should divorce be the ONLY answer to a marriage which is teetering on the brink? Divorce rates are shooting up maybe because couples are just not making that effort to go the extra mile. Saving a marriage needs a bit of effort - it takes two to tango ! One of the first things you can do is seek help and that means counselling. Having a mediator who can sort through some of the issues which are preventing you from saving your marriage is money well spent.

There are other ways of saving the relationship/marriage in addition to counselling. I want to set out just four ways you can utilise which are not difficult to implement and will really improve your chances of getting back together again. If both partners can work towards that objective, then that is half the battle and you will be well on the way to avoiding a difficult or messy divorce.

I always thought marriage was going to be an easy ride and then I learnt the hard way. Living together is even more difficult - marriage would be great if we could live apart ! Sometimes small irritations which at first seem like no big deal become enormous barriers and can sometimes be blown up just to justify some action/remark or argument. The perfect partner does not exist and I do not know any couples like that - if they tell me that, well, they are lying. The marriage vows are all about ups and downs - in sickness or in health and that applies to almost every aspect of marriage and just recognising that and NOT demanding perfection in my partner is the first way I can save my marriage.

That brings me to the second way I was able to save my marriage. It is all about communication and that means talking but not just airy fairy mundane everyday household things but being honest and open about everything with my spouse or partner. Talking calmly and having a friendly chat about a problem or my feelings will make it so much easier to iron out a difficulty or stumbling block.

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Infidelity In Marriage

We watch it happen on television, we hear about it on the radio, and we read about it in newspapers, magazines and on the internet. Infidelity. From celebrities to politicians to our friends and neighbors. It is very common and can be devastating. But your relationship can survive an affair.

How Common Is Infidelity?
The University of Chicago's national opinion research center. Found that about 15% of women surveyed in 2002 reported they had had sex with someone besides their spouse while married, and 22% of men had. Roughly 2% of women and 4% of men had done so in the past year. These estimates are likely low given the nature of what people were being asked to report.

Why Does It Happen?
Affairs happen for many, many reasons- however they can be grouped into three broad categories.

1. Issues that push people into affairs - so things like problems with the relationship, loneliness, personal insecurities, desire for attention, desire to end the marriage, sexual addictions.

2. Issues that pull people into affairs: increased self-esteem, excitement, feelings of love and romance.

3. Larger societal issues- things like our inability to deal with conflict, or inability to discuss sexual issues honestly, our misperceptions about love versus lust versus marriage.

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Marriage Conseling Tips

Does marriage counseling work? Though many experts still believe that marriage counseling is not as effective and result oriented as people think, it is estimated that more number of women have benefited from this exercise. However, experts also believe that marriage counseling does not work on a permanent basis. There is a solace however; if you seek help before the problems become worse and acute, you have good chances of saving your marriage. Marriage counseling is useful to those couples who are young and are still in love. It also works well on those couples, who are open to therapy and suggestions. Does marriage counseling work? The answer is still uncertain, with many unknowns and imponderables coming in the way of a mutually agreeable settlement.

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How To Save My Marriage

This is an article to give an honest review of books on saving marriage.
Some of these books claim to have a system to help with every problem that a marriage can throw up, and as we all know a marriage with problems can generate multiple issues from stress on the relationship to feeling undervalued and unloved.

Therefore as you can also imagine this is a very thorough books that goes into a lot of detail yet I found it very easy to follow, you do get a lot of times when you think to yourself 'why didn't I think of that' because it does give you precious, yet easy to understand advice.

Check out save my marriage for free ebooks covering all aspects of marriage to meet your needs.